今天花了一个小时写小破托福作文，我总是这样，喜欢精雕细啄，最后画蛇添足。

Outside it is sullen, resembles the way I feel inside.

花半小时throw together? 一篇文章，怎么看怎么恶

:To simple and to na飗e, far from doing myself justice! 于是追求完美的我，总要花同样的半个小时，推倒重来那些文章。

(Life is you spend the second half learning what you have learned in the first half is wrong.)

You are trying too hard with the words.  I know English is not an easy language, I have known it my whole life and I still do not get it all right!  Where you trying to say, 揕ife is strange, you spend the second half learning, what you learned in the first half, is wrong.??? 

下面就贴一下我花一个小时写好的文章：Does human activity improve or damage the earth?<I am not sure that activity is the right word for this sentence because 揳ctivity?in such a vague manner implies all things that we, as humans do, damage the earth.  Maybe invention/inventions might be more appropriate, or you could reword the question, 揇oes human improvements do more damage to the earth than good??o:p>

<What is not needed> With the conveniences of <try not to over use the word 搕he?gt;transportation, the efficiency of the internet, human activity, to a large extent, strengthens the bond of people both in space<this doesn抰 really make sense, the sentence needs reworking to make more sense, what do you mean by 搒pace?> and in spirit. In view of that, some are often driven to believe that human activity contributes to the improvement of earth.

At first glance this argument sounds <sounds or seems not bothJ>seemingly reasonable and appealing, however, it is not borne out by a careful consideration. The soil is spoiled, air is polluted, water is contaminated, forests are cut down, and it is the human activity arising from the very earth. Notice the intrinsic harming characteristic of it one can virtually say that human activity only does well for human society in respect of living standard rather than the environment on earth with regard to the natural elements and resources. As far as I am concerned the damage of earth are no less than three aspects as rendered below/ such as the following:

The first and foremost reason for my propensity is that human activity causes the severe pollution, such as: water pollution, air pollution, the cause of global warming which is a serious long-term effect. For the past several decades, scientists have noted a distinguishing rise in the average temperature of the earth that stems from the rise of greenhouse gases and air pollutants by virtue of immoderate consumption of fossil fuels. If we turn a deaf ear to the problem, if we let the situation run its course, the temperature of the earth will continue to rise, eventually causing the melt of polar ice caps that will lead to coastal flooding all over the world. More than likely become the victims?such the major cities as New Orleans, Hawaii and Hong Kong. <This sentence is missing a subject and doesn抰 make sense.  It needs to be reworded, I have just reworded parts of your sentences to show you how I would word it.>

Another obvious damage seen by everyone is that some precious fossil fuels that cannot be replaced are being used up. To meet the demands of industry development, the energy is always consumed rapidly at the expense of the natural resources. The more we use, the less we leave to nature.

Moreover, in the history of mankind, such enormities as the Second World War in the last century, not only leads to the abyss of grief, the depth of despair, but also results in the tremendous destruction of the earth. Many ancient buildings and precious historical sites vanished into the air. Say nothing of the innumerable dead and disabled.

It goes without saying that human activity has caused serious problems while it has improved the world we live in. Only three reasons can make a person draw the conclusion that for the sake of everything, Human activity does harm to the earth. <The rest of the sentence was not necessary unless you are going to explain what you began with 搈ore?gt; It is high time we realized this hazard and took the precautions against further disaster.

All in all honey you did really well.  I have a tutor for my English classes here.  This is what most of my documents look like when they come back so do not become upset with all the red.  All places where the red is has been put in proper context except where comments are put in<>.  I hope this helps, and I am sorry it has taken this long.  You have a good point and I like what you are fighting for with your composition.:)